Ego for Sale

My Ego is better than yours 

My Ego is so much better than yours. She is the absolute Best. She is always there when I need Her! In fact, She even shows up sometimes unannounced! I am never let down by my Ego, who never ceases to amaze or impress me with Her wild tales and stories of sadness, disappointment and “not good enough(s).”  

Whenever my Ego shows up to a party or gathering (which is usually fashionably late 😉 She is quick to entertain and become the life of the party. All attention on Her, please!  After all, how else will she feel accepted and loved  

Because She is the life of the party, it is a requirement that She is funny, and hilarious She is! When you least expect it, my Ego is cracking priceless snide jokes with her quick wit and sarcasm! She will keep you rolling on the ground with laughter as She begins to spiral out of control with irrational and outrageous tales of disappointment, loneliness, and failure.  

At night, when I lay alone in bed, my Ego tells me bedtimes stories, just like my mom used to tell me when I was a little girl, except Her stories don’t end with “Happy Endings.” No, no, that would be much too obvious. Instead, my Ego thrills and excites me with anticipation as She embellishes and exaggerates wild and creative tales over and over again, like a broken record, until I actually start to believe the negativity and bottomless pit of sadness that will soon come to fruition.  

Each morning, upon awaking, and thanks to my beautiful and considerate Ego, I remember how powerless and imperfect I am, or how broken and separate I am from others. I remember Her saying just the night before that She is separate from Your Ego. She reminds me often that there is no “oneness” or synchronicity in the universe. “What a ridiculous thought!” She says. “We are ALL separate and NOT alike, so vastly different in our own ways.”  

Like I said, My Ego is just the best. She is sooo much better than yours… …  

Although, I had the strangest dream last night as my Ego finally quieted down. And no, I wasn’t Martin Luther King Jr. in this dream. No, I had a dream that I was actually perfect. I was amazing and complete and whole, and I was one with everyone. In, this dream, I remembered that I can do anything I set my mind to, and I have an abundance of everything I need in this lifetime. In my dream, I had only love in my heart to extend; no judgment, no hatred, and no jealousy. I was only love.  My Ego says the dream was a mistake, like a misunderstanding or miscommunication from the soul to the brain. However, I’m not sure if I believe Her… However, with all that being said about such a silly, and probably meaningless dream, I repeat what I stated earlier: My Ego is seriously still better than yours! As I illustrated in the paragraphs above, She has done a great deal for me and always goes above and beyond. Now, as I slowly undo all that She has done, I am offering my Ego up for sale! No wait, for FREE! That’s right, you heard it here first and, what the hell, I am feeling generous tonight. Sooo, if anyone wants a new and improved Ego, like I said, I have the Perfect One for you!  

Oh yeah, and Ego, if you’re also reading this tonight and you were planning another visit later to share with me your elaborate and mischievous stories of negativity and despair, make sure You check Yourself at the door, because You are actually no longer welcome in this heart and spirit. Like I stated earlier, You are up for sale now and I wish you all the best.  




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